The holiday season can be a time of warmth and connection, but for many LGBTQIA+ people, it can also be challenging. From navigating family dynamics to creating affirming traditions, queer communities can reimagine season to reflect authenticity and resilience. These seven tips can help inspire holiday celebrations that prioritize joy, rest, and connection.
Chosen family gatherings
Family doesn’t need to be defined by blood. We can choose our families by surrounding ourselves with friends and partners who accept us the way we are. Host a queer potluck, plan a gathering with your own traditions, or join a virtual meetup. Even if your space is small, remember: happiness in a cozy apartment beats discomfort in a big family house. Play the music that makes you feel at home — your holiday soundtrack should reflect your joy, not someone else’s expectations.
Celebrate the season by attending LGBTQIA+-friendly holiday festivals and markets. Some examples include the Christmas Village in Philadelphia, Enchant Christmas in Seattle, and NOLA ChristmasFest. Curating a collaborative “Queer Holiday Playlist” or movie night could also bring you joy this season. Encourage people to bring suggestions for queer shows or movies, whether virtual or in person.
Navigating family dynamics
There may be times when you do end up seeing blood-related family, for better or worse. Of course, not every holiday table is welcoming. If you’re visiting relatives who don’t acknowledge or affirm your identity, remember that boundaries are healthy. Plan ahead: know when to step outside for a walk, have a supportive friend on standby for a quick text, or be ready to rant in your Notes app or journal. Give yourself permission to leave if needed.
It’s okay to want to value your family’s differing viewpoints, but when differences cross into disrespect, your peace comes first. As activists, we want social change, but you also have the right to be safe and happy this season. Protecting your mental health should take precedence over participating in traditions out of a sense of obligation. We deserve some time to enjoy ourselves amidst all the chaos. Joy is a radical act — protect it.
Rest & recharge
The season often demands constant activity, but rest can be a great way to refocus yourself. It’s okay to skip events that don’t suit you, or to try out new activities that may turn into traditions. Listening to music, meditating, or simply enjoying quiet time can help you recharge. Saying “no” to obligations that drain you is an act of self-love that we should practice more. As advocates and dreamers, we want to change the world — but we’re also human. Take a break, put on a holiday playlist, and let yourself breathe.
You can also use a chosen family gathering to rest and recharge. Be intentional about letting go of holiday stress and encourage friends to share stories that may lift a weight from their shoulders. It’s important to be vulnerable with our friends — they can help us see things from a new perspective and remind us that we’re not alone. And try to intertwine more serious exchanges with something fun and creative like a crafting party, a game night, or even a book club.
Holiday media with queer joy
Here are some queer-inclusive holiday entertainment! Or, if you’re not celebrating a specific holiday, some general winter-themed fun.
2021’s Single All the Way, available on Netflix, features a fake-dating plot line as Peter convinces his best friend Nick to be his boyfriend for a family Christmas gathering.
In The Christmas House, Hallmark’s first feature film with a gay couple, Brandon is going through the adoption process with his husband.
The first LGBTQIA+ Christmas movie released by Lifetime, The Christmas Set Up (2020), focuses on a lawyer reuniting with an old acquaintance over the holidays.
Of course, there are always classics like Carol, 2015’s Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara flick based on Patricia Highsmith’s novel The Price of Salt.
Lesser known films include Tangerine, directed by Sean Baker in 2015, which follows two transgender sex workers on Christmas Eve in Los Angeles.
2019’s Korean-Japanese film Moonlit Winter follows a daughter who discovers a love letter written to her mother, and her quest to reunite her mother with her first love.
If you’re a reader, queer holiday romance books await!
Try the barista/tattoo artist romance in Merry Inkmas by Talia Hibbert or two couples finding love over the holidays in The Holiday Trap by Roan Parrish. There’s also Kiss Her Once For Me by Alison Cochrun, which follows a character falling for her fake boyfriend’s sister. Goodreads also has a reading list just for LGBTQIA+ holiday romance.
LGBTQIA+ holiday music ranges from Janelle Monáe’s soulful winter playlists to drag queen holiday favorites such as RuPaul’s Slay Belles and the Jinx and DeLa Holiday Special. Individual songs include “Two Queens in a King Size Bed” by Girl In Red, “Santa is a Gay Man” by Big Freedia, and of course, the legendary “Last Christmas” by Wham! You can check out many more LGBTQIA+ holiday songs in compilations on Spotify and Them’s Queer Holiday Playlist.
Community support and holiday activism
It’s easy to feel isolated this season and overwhelmed by holiday consumerism. Whether you’re openly an LGBTQIA+ activist or just someone who feels different, how you spend the holidays should be up to you. To feel more involved, consider helping others as a powerful way to spread holiday cheer.
This time of year is known to bring cold weather, seasonal affective disorder, and general loneliness, and giving back can feel very rewarding. You can do so by supporting local and minority-owned businesses. Consider purchasing your holiday gifts at Black-owned shops or donate winter clothing to a nearby shelter.
Below are some examples of activism you can participate in if you’re local, and if not, you may be inspired to look for events or places similar to these, even virtually.
- PFLAG provides resources for navigating family gatherings and offers support groups year-round. They also have a search function to find your local chapter.
- In 2024, Pinta Pride Project sent over 35,000 holiday letters of love and support to LGBTQIA+ people facing rejection. Sign-ups for the 2025-2026 campaign are here.
- Gay For Good encourages LGBTQIA+ and ally volunteers in over 23 cities to aid their neighbors and local nonprofits.
- Stand In Pride – Established in 2024, this organization matches LGBTQIA+ people without family support with someone who can be their “stand-in family.” This support can be offered through simply listening and connecting or offering support at weddings and graduations.
Learn about global and historical queer traditions
If you can’t find anything near you or you just want to broaden your horizons, consider exploring the traditions of various queer cultures. Queer communities across the globe celebrate in different ways, and learning about others can sometimes help us feel like we’re part of something. From Switzerland to Colorado, people participate in Gay Ski Weeks, a winter version of a pride event. In the Philippines, drag-themed holiday shows bring joy and visibility. Germany’s “Pink Christmas” markets offer an inclusive twist on traditional festivities from Bavaria to Berlin. These traditions show that queer joy is universal, transcending borders and cultures.
And don’t forget the history of Saturnalia, the pre-Christmas Roman winter festival. Before this epic week-long winter festival was replaced in the 4th century by a birthday party for Jesus, revelers were celebrating Saturnalia as far back as 133 B.C. This included everything from roasting guests to erotic cake bake-offs to drag performances.
Faith-based support
Some may find extra comfort in religion during the holiday season. Across multiple faiths, there are organizations ready to help you find somewhere that will accept you. If the Christian faith is important to you, there’s Center for LGBTQIA+ & Gender Studies in Religion (CLGS) which encourage congregations to expand holiday welcome to LGBTQIA+ families. They host online workshops that discuss how to view Christian seasons and events through a queer lens.
For Muslims seeking inclusive Islamic resources, the Muslim Alliance for Sexual and Gender Diversity (MASGD) has a big list full of a variety of different ways you can find connection, prayer groups, and support in various U.S. locations.
For those of the Jewish faith, the Keshet Equality Directory allows you search for LGBTQIA+ friendly Jewish organizations and clergy. They also provide education and training as well as LGBTQIA+ Shabbaton retreats.
It’s important to have these resources so that queer people of faith feel validated in who they are, especially for those who haven’t yet found an accepting community within their religion.
Closing reminder
The holidays are not about conforming but about celebrating authentically. Whether through chosen family, activism, or simply resting, queer communities remind us that joy can be a radical act. This season, honor yourself, your community, and the traditions that make you feel whole.
Happy holidays!
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